Soda-maker: Ham flavor will be kosher (AP)

WAKE UP! It must be time to start the annual war on Christmas.

And what the fuck is this kosher soda? We can't allow this.

It's rare to find kosher ham. Rarer still to find it carbonated and bottled. Jones Soda Co., the Seattle-based purveyor of offbeat fizzy water, said Friday that it was shelving its traditional seasonal flavors of turkey and gravy this year to produce limited-edition theme packs for Christmas and Hanukkah.

The Christmas pack will feature such flavors as Sugar Plum, Christmas Tree, Egg Nog and Christmas Ham. The Hanukkah pack will have Jelly Doughnut, Apple Sauce, Chocolate Coins and Latkes sodas.

"As always, both packs are kosher and contain zero caffeine," a Jones news release noted.

And even worse is NO CAFFEINE!!!1!! That's a fucking abomination.

Via NewsTin.