Saturday, January 19, 2008

Perfect English

Hey, if you're trying to learn anything about English, move on.

I use profanity when there are better ways to say things. I love dangling participles. Mixed metaphors are great. Split infinitives? No problem. Ending sentences with prepositions is my forté. I use colloquialisms and idioms very often. Often I place adverbs where they don't belong.

Hell, often my sentence structure is fucked.

I be using words inappropriate for serious writing.

I will admit I'm usually good at subject and predicate agreement and verb tenses. Beyond that its a toss up.

You have been warned.



Blogger Ted Compton said...

Ending sentences with prepositions is something up with which we will not put.

(Ok it wasn't me, it was Winston Churchill)

Or maybe you heard the one about the Harvard Freshman from Kansas who was exploring the campus on his first day, bumped into two upperclassmen, and asked "Where does this path go to?"

"Humpfh," said one of the upperclassmen, "we don't end sentences with prepositions at Harvard."

"OK," said the kid, "where does this path go to, asshole."

1/19/2008 10:42:00 AM  
Blogger SPIIDERWEB™ said...

That is too funny and I hadn't heard it.

1/19/2008 11:51:00 AM  

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