Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. You usually do so much better than this:
Scott Brown is but the latest of the beauty-salon graduates [ed- where the hell did that come from?] driving conservatives to spazzy distraction. As NYCweboy argues, the Republican Party has become the fan club for attention-deficit teenage girls of all ages and sexes [ed- just how many sexes are there who are 'girls?', unable to decide between Fabian [ed- what?] and Frankie Avalon [ed- what again?], infatuated with Zec [ed- eh, its Zac, Jimmy] Efron one month and all moony over Rob Pattison [ed- eh, Jimmy, that's Pattinson] the next, smitten with Mitt Romney one campaign and pining over Marco Rubio the next. "[If] if [ed- well, is it 'If' or 'if?'] Republicans have a crisis of leadership, it may be because conservatives have become some of the most fickle lovers of new faces: as fast as a new handsome dude [ed- are you disclosing Sarah Palin* is a 'dude' here?] (usually white, but occasionally tan) enters the room, their love of last year's model goes out the window."
* As referenced in the article which inspired your post.
Note: Headline links to source.