Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Obama to GOP: I Will Quit Smoking if You Will Quit Being Dicks


Maybe this will work. Its a bold idea. But my solution is so God damn better.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – President Barack Obama today threw down a new gauntlet in the battle over healthcare reform, telling his Republican opponents, “Here’s the deal: I will quit smoking if you will quit being dicks.”

While most political observers expected the GOP leadership to reject the President’s offer out of hand, House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) suggested that he and other top Republicans would “take seriously” Mr. Obama’s challenge to cease their dick-like behavior.

“We want what’s best for the American people,” Rep. Boehner said. “If that means making a supreme sacrifice, which stopping being dicks definitely would be, we will certainly consider that.”

Oh yeah. I forgot to mention my solution. Obama needs, by executive order, executive privilege, voodoo*, to take away all government supplied health care from all senators and representatives and state they not get it back unless they include all Americans in the HCR legislation including single payer. That's it. Period.


* I have no clue how or by what mechanism, but he can order Americans' assassinations so this should be a fucking walk in the park.


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4 Comments:

Anonymous buy generic levitra said...

Nice and well written post. Smoking reduces the life span. One in three smokers who do not stop the smoking will eventually die. Some smokers will die in their 40s and others will die later. On average, they will die 10 to 15 years earlier than they would have died from other causes. Some people try to stop smoking but they failed because they are addicted to it.

10/09/2010 01:09:00 PM  
Anonymous cheap viagra online said...

Very Awesome article...

Smith Alan

12/06/2010 02:45:00 PM  
Anonymous e-liquid said...

Focus on the topic and set aside politics. He made some changes onto himself, I believe he can do the same thing for the country.

2/09/2011 05:56:00 PM  
Anonymous viagra ordonnance said...

Your blog is outrageous! I mean, Ive never been so entertained by anything in my life! Your vids are perfect for this. I mean, how did you manage to find something that matches your style of writing so well? Im really happy I started reading this today. Youve got a follower in me for sure!

9/14/2011 09:55:00 AM  

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