Friday, February 15, 2008

Feminism, sort of

This post could go most anywhere.

It starts out with being a parent. The feminism part comes later.

Children are great about 90-95% of the time as many (most?) of you well know.

Its terrific when they learn to laugh, walk, talk, dance, mangle words, sing or play in a school concert, perform in a play, bring home drawings or crafts just for you, succeed in a sport. I think I've made the point.

Ah, but the other 5-10%, when you want to take your progeny to the nearest bridge and throw them off. Later you laugh, but not just then.

You know, when they put toast into the CD player, get sticky something all over the car, furniture, TV screen, scratch your favorite CD, break a window (OK, not so much that one), scream for no apparent reason, go running around in a store, shred one of your speakers (see last post), crash your car or...

One of my favorite anecdotes concerns my middle son.

My wife and I were working in our business when my son called. My wife answered and heard him say, "Hi mom. First of all we got the fire out..." They were cooking and started a grease fire. It did no real harm except for a little smoke damage and they had the sense to carefully carry the pan outside.

By the way I have only sons. On my father's side of the family there have been only 3 girls born in 400 years. My dad fathered 2 and his brother 1 of them.

When I called my grandfather and told him my wife had given birth to our first child he told me that was great. "What was it?" I told him a boy. He said, "Good. Girls are no damn good."

Now I didn't exactly share his sentiments, but you didn't argue with grampa.

My mother was an accomplished woman before deciding to be a stay at home mom. She managed 3 ice cream parlors in San Francisco when younger. I've lived around exceptional, strong, mostly career women all my life and can never understand why they seem to frighten or intimidate men.

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Blogger Lisa said...

"I can never understand why they seem to frighten or intimidate men."

It is most unfortunate. Well, it may have something to do with the fact that men are under women (so to speak) for most of their early life at home and school, and so must strike out against "the power" to claim their autonomy. Maybe.

Maybe insecurity -- fear of being duped or laughed at or rejected. Maybe since boy's proving grounds are often the backseats of cars, they must dismiss and belittle the people who hold their fragile egos in their hands (=women).

It is one of the many sad divisions in our country (world?), that of the sexes. We live in fear and sometimes loathing of the other. Almost always, with some sort of alienation. The divisions are reinforced early in life, and the later reconstruction of a relationship is usually only partial, at best.

2/17/2008 11:24:00 AM  
Blogger SPIIDERWEB™ said...

I think laughed at is a biggie.

I know few men who can laugh at themselves.

2/17/2008 11:26:00 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

It is strange. I guess when are most impressionable and awkward (teenage years), the thought of being laughed at is unbearable. Cool is everything, for both sexes. The two sides come to learn "the rules," or the rules as they see them, leaving little space for genuine communion.

Marriage is often a "cementing" of two people who don't know each other, who then trowel on more cement (=having kids, buying a house), all in a vain effort to stay together.

I know there are some men and women who manage to transcend their egos, but perhaps not many.

2/18/2008 01:20:00 PM  
Anonymous Infusion Art said...

"I guess when are most impressionable and awkward (teenage years), the thought of being laughed at is unbearable."

Very true, i'm so glad those days are over!

5/21/2012 09:13:00 PM  

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