All Jonco

He said… I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it.

She said…You wear briefs, don’t you?

He said… Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?

She said…Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.

He said… Since I first laid eyes on you, I’ve wanted to make love to you in the worst way.

She said…Well, you have succeeded.

He said… You have a flat chest and need to shave your legs, have you ever been mistaken for a man?

She said…No, have you?

He said… Why do you women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains?

She said…Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind.

He said… Let’s go out and have some fun tonight.

She said…Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

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Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I’ve never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
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Dear Abby, What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence on my VCR?
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Dear Abby, I have a man I can’t trust. He cheats so much, I’m not even sure the baby I’m carrying is his.
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Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It’s getting expensive and I think my boy friend should share half the cost but I don’t know him well enough to discuss money with him.
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Dear Abby, I’ve suspected that my husband has been fooling around and, when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.
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Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was in a good Christian home turn against his own?
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Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I’ve seen it. Now how do I get out?
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Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.
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Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn’t know he drank until one night he came home sober.
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Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short tempered. I think she is going through mental pause.
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Dear Abby, You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?

Jonco rocks!

Via Jonco.