Dave Barry for President!

Dave Barry is running for president (yes, of the United States). He is currently leading every single poll by a wide margin, although you will read nothing about this in the so-called “mainstream” media. You can, however, find out where Dave stands on the issues by reading this Q&A, which consists of Q’s submitted by actual humans (we think) followed by Dave’s answers.

Dave updates this Q&A regularly, so check back often. You can also visit his official Web site. Or, you can do something productive with your life. But we don't recommend this.

A taste of what you will find at the link.

Q What do you say to those who claim that you aren't French enough?
Anatole France, Montreal, Quebec 2/05/08
A I flatulate in their general direction.
Dave Barry 2/07/08
Q Dave, Since red and blue are already taken, what color will you use on the national map as you win state after state? Please let it be a manly color.
Tom, secret bunker, south of Pittsburgh 2/05/08
A I won't use a color. I will use a sound effect, made from a recording of a large individual -- Ed McMahon springs to mind -- passing gas.
Dave Barry 2/07/08
Q One of your early books, Dave Berry Slept Here, was eerily prophetic of your ascent to the presidency (following in the footsteps, errr....bedsheets, of George Washington). So, when you are elected, just where will you have slept that will make you even more famous?
imhistory, Houston, Tx 2/05/08
A Everybody involved was consenting.
Dave Barry 2/07/08

Via McClatchy.