When the internets tubes go bad

Someone found SPIIDERWEB™ by searching ASK.com®:

average time to get pregnant at

Ignoring the grammar, what the fuck?

I'm not, don't expect to be and am incapable of being preggers. Nor do I think I have anything much to add to a discussion on the subject.

So how in hell did they find me with such a search?

Its a conspiracy, right? I mean they'll next find me with a search for jelly fish donuts? You know, the kind with the jelly fish fillings?

I'd better hide.

Now you have a choice

Having trouble deciding who to vote for in 2008? How about drafting SPIIDERWEB™?

I’m not sure if this post will cost me readers, but I hope not.

Here are my positions in no particular order:

Medically safe abortion: For
Fighting global warming: For
Electronic voting: Against
Pre-emptive attack: Against
Tax reductions for the rich: Against
Tax rebates for oil companies: Against
Balanced budget: For
Transparent government: For
US Constitution: For
US Bill of Rights: For
Torture: Against
Solar power: For
Wind power: For
Domestic spying: Against
Habeas corpus: For
Geneva Convention: For
Special rendition: Against
War: Against
Deceit: Against
Cronyism: Against
Apples: For
Public political funding: For
Secret prisons: Against
Veteran support (fighting): For
Veteran support (medical): For
Lobbyist gifts: Against
Cuba embargo: Against
Gun control: Against
Ammunition control: For
Stricter CAFE standards: For
Universal health care: For
NOLA reconstruction: For
Medical marijuana: For
Child pornography: Against
Civil unions: For
Sexual orientation acceptance: For
Freedom of religion: For
Freedom from religion: For
Religious acceptance: For
BLTs: For
Dictatorship: Against
Bestiality: Against
Labour unions: For
Free speech: For
War on drugs: Against
Prevention of terrorism: For
Immigrant amnesty: For
Profanity: For
Social security: For
Poverty: Against
Hunger: Against
HIV/AIDS: Against
Stem cell research: For
Racial profiling: Against
Cloning (sheep): For
Cloning (velociraptors): Against
Creationism: Against
MSM: Against
Blogging: For
Honesty: for
Welfare: Against
Support: For
Congressional oversight: For
Impeachment: For
Abstinence only education: Against
Condom use: For
Diplomacy: For
Chocolate: For
Imperialism: Against
Privacy: For
Police state: Against
Free education: For
Nanny state: Against
Intelligent politicians: For
War: Against
Negotiation: For
Planning: For
Incompetence: Against
Political retribution: Against
Increased minimum wage: For
Troop withdrawal: For
Junkets: Against

I may flesh these out in future, but I doubt it because I’m lazy. Feel free to ask about any of them.