Why I use the "F" word so often

First off its easy, flexible, malleable. OK, I'm stretching the word malleable, but its my site and I can do such things. Muahahaha.

The main reason I use "fuck" and its variants is because "god damn fucking son of a bitch" is just too many letters to type and lead to typos. I'm lazy ass remember?

Any of you who've surfed the internets tubes for a while will know about the following. The N00bs won't.

Why Fuck is the Best Word in the English Language...
by Who the Fuck Knows

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck".

It is a magical word which, just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate. In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.

It can be used as a verb both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John).

It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck),

a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck),

and adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John),

or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck).

It can also be used as an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary).

It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid).

As you can see there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word fuck.

Aside from its sexual connotations, this word can be used to describe many situations:

1. Greetings........."How the fuck are ya?"

2. Fraud..............."I got fucked by the car dealer."

3. Resignation......."Oh, fuck it!"

4. Trouble............."I guess I'm fucked now."

5. Aggression........."Fuck you!"

6. Disgust................"Fuck me."

7. Confusion............." What the fuck....?"

8. Displeasure............"Fucking shit man..."

9. Lost........................"Where the fuck are we?"

10.Disbelief..............."Unfuckingbelievable!"

11.Retaliation............."Up your fucking ass!"

12. Apathy................."Who really gives a fuck?"

13. Suspicion............."Who the fuck are you?"

14. Directions.............."Fuck off."

It can be maternal........"Motherfucker!"

It can be used to tell time......."It's four fucking twenty!"

It can be used as an anatomical description............."He's a fucking asshole."

Lastly, it has been used by many notable people throughout history:

"What the fuck was that?" -Mayor of Hiroshima

"That's not a real fucking gun." -John Lennon

"Where the fuck is all this water coming from?" -Captain of the Titanic

"Who the fuck is gonna find out?" -Richard Nixon

"Heads are gonna fucking roll." -Anne Boleyn

"Any fucking idiot could answer that." -Albert Einstein

"It does so fucking look like her!" -Picasso

"You want what on the fucking ceiling?" -Michaelangelo

"Fuck a duck." -Walt Disney

"Houston, we have a big fucking problem." - The crew of Apollo 13

- written by McCutcheon

Via Pax Acidus.

There's nothing like control

Fuck!

A truck bomb struck a Shiite mosque Tuesday in central Baghdad, killing 75 people and wounding more than 200, even as about 10,000 U.S. soldiers northeast of the capital used heavily armored Stryker and Bradley fighting vehicles to battle their way into an al-Qaida sanctuary.

Only 75 dead. We should be so happy.

(read more)

CDC says gonorrhea is drug-resistant

Gotta go for the cheap shot here.

Fuck! Safely of course.

(read more)

I extend my fucking apologies

It seems my vocabulary has deteriorated. Not my complete vocabulary which has always been pathetic, but my profanity vocabulary. Its pretty much spiraled down to fuck.

This is because fuck is an easy word, along with its variants, to use.

I know the word fornicate and could use it, but reserve it for James Wolcott and Roger Ailes (the good one) when they feel the need to reduce themselves part way down to my level of depravity.

Besides, fornicate Bush just doesn't have the impact I need. No pun intended.

Fucking hell. I'll just press on with what I fucking have.

I have officially become unemployable by any serious political candidate. FUCK! I hate it when that happens.

Do you think I'm angry?

Is that how I come across? Do you envision some raving maniac sitting at a computer (nude?) attacking, attacking, attacking?

Well the nude part is right^* but...

Do you think I wake up each day and wonder how many news items I can find to rail against? How many times I can use the word "fuck" and its variants to show my outrage? How I can feel hurt and how much horror I can take? How I can attack Bush and his hyenas? How I can find comfort in the new Democratic government?

Hahaha. That last sentence is ridiculous. That would never enter my mind.

But, to continue with my original train of thought. Not hardly. I wake and think today will be good. Except for the fact I'll spend the next 12-15 hours of my life feeding the beast known as the SPIIDERWEB™ blog site.

Unfortunately I also face that blank page (writers can relate). And then the news stories start coming at me. I am alternatively incredulous, mystified, angered, confused, cynical, dumbfounded, vindicated, outraged, amused (sometimes), shocked (rarely), impotent (mentally), lethargic and worried.

No, never fearful except for others. I'm not sure WWIII isn't just around the corner. I trust that much of Bush

Many anguishing hours later I find I've posted many items and can relax. Until that time comes, my shoulder muscles are tight and I'm "this close" to getting a stress headache.

So, if you are contemplating starting a blog...don't!!!1!! That is a political blog. If you want to post about you're life and your cats and such, fine, but political blogging is a barrel of monkeys you don't want to open.

^* That's a joke folks.