Stung by losses, nation's beekeepers try to rebuild

Probably not the same Clint Walker
as mentioned in the story, but...
Hey, didn't I mention one of my goals is to fill my head with fucking trivia?

"I can't raise enough queens; I turn down orders every day," In the woods and rolling farmland of Central Texas, Clint Walker is breeding queen bees. Stashed in nondescript boxes underneath a stand of trees, the bees could be easily missed. But the queens are a lifeline for Walker and other commercial beekeepers, who are furiously trying to replenish their depleted hives.

Now before you complain, I know what I'm about to type is crass, stereotypical, insensitive, insulting, and pretty much lame which is true to my nature.

Ya need to raise fucking queens? Go to New York.

Note: Headline links to source.

Steak + Michael J Fox = Steak ‘n Shake

Jesus H Christ with Parkinson's disease. There's someone out there with a sicker mind than mine.

I'm not naming names or anything.

Note: Headline links to source.

Shark attacks have Mexico resort area in panic

Sorry, but you're in for some more of my sick humor.

No one could even remember a shark attack along this resort-studded stretch of Mexican coast popular with surfers and Hollywood's elite. Many of the large predators had been pulled from the ocean by fishermen.

So when sharks attacked three surfers in less than a month, two fatally, it was unthinkable.

That's fucking inflation for you. It only took one shark in Jaws to scare off tourists and close the goddamn beach.

Can the administration be blamed in some way? Work on it for me.

Yes the image is doctored. Anything from Worth 1000 is phony. That's their raison d'être.

Note: Headline links to source.

German parents post baby on eBay for 1 euro (AP)

More of my disgusting sense of humor. You are warned.

Authorities in southern Germany said Saturday they have taken custody of a 7-month-old boy after his parents posted an ad on eBay offering to sell him for one euro, the equivalent of $1.57.

First. I think anything made in Germany from cars to cuckoo clocks to Meissen Porcelain to Zwilling J A Henckels knives and, yes, little boys has to be worth more than one euro.

Unfortunately the authorities have no sense of humor and believed this to be a serious offer.

Peter Hieber, a spokesman for police in the Bavarian town of Krumbach, said the baby was placed in the care of youth services in the southwestern Allgaeu region, although the child's 23-year-old mother insisted the ad was only a joke.

Authorities have launched an investigation into possible child trafficking against the baby's mother and 24-year-old father, neither of whom was identified.

"Offering my nearly new baby for sale, as it has gotten too loud. It is a male baby, nearly 28 inches (70 cm) long and can be used either in a baby carrier or a stroller," police quoted the ad as reading.

No offers were made for the child in the two hours and 30 minutes the ad was posted on Tuesday. EBay later deleted the posting, but assisted police in tracking down the parents.

Does this negate or reinforce the stereotype of humorless Germans? Just asking.

Note: Headline links to source.

Fourth right foot found off Canada's coast

First of all, I've been trying to post. I keep losing my connection to the internets tubes. Things look settled down for the moment.

Probably after reading this post you'll be favoring more disconnects.

Now on to business which is to display my disgustingly sick sense of humor.

For the fourth time in less than a year, a human foot in a running shoe has been found along the British Columbia coast. Police said Friday that they don't know if there are any links between the cases of the four severed right feet found on island shorelines in the Vancouver region.

The connection is obvious. These are right feet from people too fucking stupid to do the Hokey-Pokey (Wikipedia).

It distinctly says you put your right foot in; take your right foot out. You don't leave the damn thing in there.

I really do need help.

Note: Headline links to source.

Heading out to fill up the ol' fuel tank?

This should come in handy.

Wal-Mart workers are so lucky

This is really fucking depressing. Wal-Mart is such a piss poor employer they don't even pay as well as panhandling.

Coos Bay, Ore., police survey panhandlers outside Wal-Mart and learn they’re making a lot more money than the employees inside.

Via News of the Weird.

Lower house passes anti-terror law

Ya gotta fucking love law makers regardless of country.

Canada's lower house Wednesday passed a revised anti-terrorism law that remains one of the country's most contentious, allowing the government to detain foreign terror suspects indefinitely without disclosing evidence against them.

Canada's Supreme Court struck down the previous law last year, finding that it violates Canada's bill of rights. The law said non-citizens suspected of being a threat to national security could be held indefinitely under security "certificates," and did not allow them to see details of the case against them.

The court said the non-citizen suspects should have a right to respond to evidence used against them by intelligence agents and noted that Britain allows government-appointed special advocates to review such sensitive intelligence material.

It suspended the judgment from taking effect for a year, to give Parliament time to rewrite the law, called the Immigration and Refugee Protection Act [emphasis mine].

Did you catch my point? The title of the law is the fucking Immigration and Refugee Protection Act.

Who is going to rejoice about getting such goddamn "protection"? Just asking.

Via Yahoo News.

Election Farce: Chicago voters are told pen had 'invisible ink'

This would be funny haha if it weren't so disgusting.

When it comes to election shenanigans, Chicago has been accused of just about everything. But invisible ink? Twenty voters at a Far North Side precinct who found their ink pens not working were told by election judges not to worry. It's invisible ink, officials said. The scanner will count it. But their votes weren't recorded after all.

Furthermore, people believed what they were told. What maroons.

Via The Signs.